


Keeping On

by Arientis



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Also the updates will be really sporadic and stuff so I'm sorry, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Fluff, Friendship, Gay, Hope, Hope in Dark Places, How do I tag?, I need help, Love, M/M, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Reference to Depression, SnowBaz, The Mage returns?, Trust, Trust Issues, no beta we die like men, seriously, world of mages
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 10:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16196096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arientis/pseuds/Arientis
Summary: Though the Mage is long dead and gone, his ghost haunts the dreams and thoughts of those he hurt, even though they don’t like to talk about it.Simon couldn’t believe it when Baz asked him to move in with him. He thought that it would all be perfect, but it seems that the Mage left even deeper scars than what was possible. Some twisted, evil being follows him everywhere, haunts his dreams, and his waking moments. He can’t escape it’s grasp on his mind.Baz thought that everything would be perfect once Simon moved in, that all their problems would be solved and that they would finally be able to live like a happy, Normal couple. Unfortunately, the Mage left his mark on Simon. He had left his mark on everyone, but, it seemed, Simon carried the most scars of all.Penelope knew it was for the better for Simon that he move in with his boyfriend. Maybe he would finally be able to get over the nightmare that plagued his being. Though she, too, had her own problems, maybe it would be better for her to sort through them by herself.Agatha, in the dark, even though she tries, she cannot get over what happened the night the Mage died, the night she almost died.





	Keeping On

**Author's Note:**

> \--This Work is Set After 'Carry On' and Before 'Wayward Son'--
> 
> \--This Work is a Continuation of Simon and Baz’s Story, Like Cather’s Fanfic ‘Carry On, Simon’ in ‘Fangirl’--
> 
> \--All Characters Belong to Rainbow Rowell--

\--Baz--

“Simon!” I call, “Where are the sheets?”

“What?” He sticks his head into the room. Our room. Our bedroom. This was going to take some getting used to, even though we had shared a room for more than seven years at Watford, but now, after three years of living alone, I would have to remember that there was another person in my living space.

And what a person to share with. Even just standing in the doorway, the light from the window shone on his golden hair, lighting it up with a quality that made those curls flame and glow. His eyes shone almost as brightly as his hair and I realised that he was staring at me, waiting for me to speak.

I try to resist the urge to blush.

I fail.

“Uhm.. The sheets, Snow. The ones that go on the, well our, bed.”

Inwardly, I curse. Why the fuck did I say ‘uhm’. That’s not even a real word. Now he’s going to know that I was thinking of him. Why can't I control my mouth when it comes to him! It’s not fair. He takes my usually calm and controlled manner and twists it, twists me into a hot and flustered mess. Crowley, I hate him.

“They should be in the box next to our bed,” Snow says, “The brown one.”

“What a great clarification, Snow. It’s not like every single one of the boxes that we have are brown.”

He smirks. That bastard.

“Try the one that is labelled ‘Sheets and Linen’, Basilton, that might help.”

“I’ve tried that,” I say, “There are no sheets or linen in it.”

He smiles in disbelief and walks over to the box in question, pausing to stare at me pointedly before opening the box and finding… sheets.

I sigh, my game is up. “Alright, I just wanted an excuse to get you up here. Happy?”

He’s still smiling. I swear by the Sword of Mages, that boy has two actions, smiling and shrugging.  
Snow places the bedsheets down on the naked mattress and walks toward me, eyes half lowered. He places a hand on my chest and the other one on the back of my neck. The room seems to heat up to an almost unbearable temperature as he tilts his head up and pulls me down towards him.

Now it’s my turn to close my eyes and wait. A kiss doesn't come. I open one eye and peer down at him to see him trying not to laugh. He blushes and says, “Maybe next time you should have just asked. C’mon, we have to finish.”

Then, he lets go of me and walks out of the door.

That fucking bastard! 

\--Simon--

Baz’s face was priceless. I didn't think that it was possible for a vampire to blush that much after only a small hunt. His face was redder than a tomato, that was for certain. 

I loved seeing him like that. Like putty under my fingers. He was always so cautious when it came to us and it made my day to see him relaxed, no sign of the tension that normally knots his muscles and makes his shoulders tight.

As much as I love Baz, I love to tease him more. Give him a bit of love and pull it away before too much to keep him wanting more. That's bad of me, isn't it? Probably is.

It’s not like I can help it, though. Ever since the Mage died, I had to keep myself occupied somehow to stop the recurring nightmare that haunted my every waking and sleeping moment, so I put all of my time into Baz and our relationship, and, of course, teasing him. 

Even now, I still see him. The Mage. He creeps up behind me with the Insidious Hundrum in his shadow. A shadow creature with a shadow of its own. 

Sometimes they just sit and watch me, eyes digging into my soul, and, sometimes, they will whisper to me, attack me or do other unspeakable things. It is in these moments that I wish that I was asleep so I could wake up, but that never happens. The same terrible things happen, no matter what I do to try and stop them.

I haven’t told anyone, of course, not Penny, not my psychologist, not even Baz. What would he say? He’d hate me for being so weak as to not be able to stand up to figments of my imagination.

They all would.

I busy myself with unpacking, pushing those thoughts out of my mind and instead focusing on the boxes and boxes of stuff in front of me and, more pressingly, how I’m going to get them up all these stairs.

I flex my wings, wishing that I could let them out and just fly up the stairs with them, but the Normals will probably see me and then I’d be locked up in some sort of lab as they try to understand me.

Sighing, I pick up a box labelled ‘Kitchenware’ and carefully carry it up the many flights of stairs to our apartment and put it down in the lounge. The kitchen is too full of boxes at the moment for me to put it on the counter.

“You'd think,” I say to myself, “that I wouldn’t have as many boxes as this seeing as I’m the only one doing any moving in.”

“You know, the same thought occurred to me.” A voice behind me says.

I jump, startled, and turn to see Penny smiling at me, holding a box in her arms. 

“Penny!” I exclaim, “I didn't know you were coming.”

“Yeah, well, you left some things back at my place and I thought I’d better drop them off before I forgot.” She paused for a moment before adding, “And I wanted to see you and Baz. Speaking of, where is he?”

“Right here.”

And, suddenly, he is standing in the living room with Penny and I.

“Hi Penny, thanks for coming. Can I offer you some tea?”

She smiles and replies, “Tea would be lovely, thank you.”


End file.
